The Morning Routine

[This is a free-writing crosspost from http://www.xrivo.com/works/view/610.  You may find it more readable there.  Developed from the writing prompt "Describe your morning routine as though you were instructing yourself for the first time"]

Depending on the baby Nathan's mood and current level of illness, your morning will begin anywhere between 3:00 AM and 6:00.  Michelle (your wife), will turn him over to you, having been exhausted from a long night of trying to wrangle him to sleep for stretches longer than an hour.

Once you have the Nathan, he will either 1) scream for Michelle, 2) fall back asleep, or 3) play.

In the event of 1), congratulations!  Hand him back off and go back to bed for a bit longer.

If 2), then you can sack out on the recliner with him.  Your joints will regret this later, but your body is too tired to care.

If 3), well... he's fine.  Sack out on the recliner.

Around 6:30, somebody will need to get Jasmine up for school.  Since she's 12, she can manage to get herself out to the bus with most of the school supplies, paperwork, and clothes she'll need for the day.  If you get her up... congratulations!  Sack out on the recliner again.

At 7:00, somebody needs to check on the laundry.  Invariably, we will have discovered the previous evening that somebody is missing a critical item of clothing for the coming schoolday.  ("Critical" as defined by you or Michelle; the boys would be happy to re-wear the same socks and/or underwear until they could be used as construction material).

At 7:30, it's time to roll Jason and Zack out of bed.  Good luck, and make sure your yelling voice is tuned up.

At 8:00 Jason and Zackery will actually roll out of bed and possibly begin dressing.  Or, they will find a nice spot of floor to curl up and fall asleep on.

By 8:10 they will have manage to assemble a single complete outfit of clothing between them, and are critically close to missing the bus, which arrives at 8:15.  Continue yelling when you discover them exploring the many ways they can splash water from the bathroom sink onto each other.

At 8:15 they will be out the door, with whatever clothes they managed to get together.  If you've put in enough effort, this will generally represent enough body coverage for both of them to be socially acceptable.

8:20: Rest.  Haha!  That was a little joke.  Sometime during the battle with Jason and Zack, baby Nathan will have woken back up.  It's time to play!

A recent strategy that has proven fruitful is to drop him off in Ben's bed.  Nathan is happy to do the gruntwork of waking up 4-year-old Ben.  Even at 18 months, Nathan displays a frightening prediliction for waking people like his early-bird granddad: rudely and with unwholesome glee.

Michelle will generally be up at this point, preparing the final two kiddos for daycare.  You may, at this point, brew some coffee.  You will by no means have time to drink it, but its comforting presence on the kitchen counter will give you the hope and motivation necessary to help get everyone out the door.

By 8:45, with luck, Michelle will have Ben and Nathan strapped into the minivan and be on her way to drop them off at daycare.

At this point you may go back inside, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and settle in front of the computer to begin your workday.  Relax!  You've earned it.